Lupe Fiasco, Pole Dancing & Halloween Parties

All parts of my fun-filled weekend in the Chi.

I'll elaborate later.

Crash & Fizzle Out.

Have you ever been somewhere, been with somebody or did something that
had you on a...for a lack of better word...high?

Maybe euphoria would have been a better way to explain it. Or maybe
euphoria is slightly too much.

Do you sometimes you feel like you want to freeze time? That's not
exactly how it is. I mean sometimes you don't want certain moments to
end.

Then you remember you have bills to pay, things to accomplish,
problems, situations, you know...things like that. Real life.

It's kind of like that commercial about energy drinks. You know the
one that talks about how other energy drinks give you that boost of
energy and then you crash. Hard. This one is kind of like that other
one. The one where you get that boost of energy and then you slowly
go back to the way you were before you took it. Like a crash and
fizzle out instead of a crash and burn. It's like..the crash wasn't
so bad that you're thinking 'What was I thinking? That wasn't worth
it'

It's more like, 'That crash wasn't that bad. It was worth the high.
I can do that again. When can I do that again?'

You think about the situations surrounding the high for days
afterwards. You count the days until you can be high again. Cuz you
know, you can't do it that often because you actually do have a job
and have to make it to work. That and it'd be way too expensive to
have the high everyday.

It's the perfect high though. Maybe. Too perfect. Almost. Not
really. That can't be good for you. It's great for the moments
though.

Right? I mean, I wouldn't know. I'm just asking.

When's the last time you had a boost of 'energy'?
When's the last time you were high?
What was it like?

I'm curious.

Decisions, Decisions....

N.E.R.D. & Common ;; October 2nd in Philly

The Roots, Gym Class Heroes, & Estelle ;; October 4th in Norfolk

Lupe;; October 11th in Baltimore.

There's also Shwayze & Tyga October 6th in Norfolk I was thinking about but I don't know.

What am I going to do?!

"Niggas got me FUCKED up out here"

DISCLAIMER :: I am venting. Excuse me.

I normally don't say shit like that but this nigga....

You can not be serious.

I know you're just my benefit buddy. I know I don't even talk to you on the regular. I know you like to hold conversations when there shouldn't be any talking. I know I don't tell you certain things [what would be the reason?]

BUT

You still got me fucked up if you think I'm gonna take time out of my day and actually make some kind of effort to get you a room at my job with my $350 discount for the weekend before I'm off for 3 days with your damn girl** and your friend & his girl. For a lil ass romantic vacation and shit at my inconvenience. You have lost your damn mind.

LOL. Seriously. Seriously. I pray you were joking since you do joke like that occasionally. Yeah, you were joking. I would have to think something was seriously wrong with you if you weren't.

I know I told you I missed you. I was lying. Me answering honestly would have fucked up the moment. But maybe I shouldn't do that. Maybe that thinking you got me soft or something and I'd just jump at the chance to hook you up. I may be small and shit but I ain't no pushover...

Sorry.

Not gonna happen.

You do realize you were possibly gonna get one until you told me that right?

You better have been joking. LOL. Fuck that.

On 2^nd thought I probably should so I can like secretly laugh about how just yesterday...technically this morning...lol no.

You ever heard the song 'Boom! I Fucked Your Boyfriend'? Good shit.

I guess this is the part where people are shocked at me. One of the things that's gonna be in the list of the things you don't know about me is that I'm a spiteful person, I hold grudges [depending on the situation], I'm rude and umm...you already know I'm sarcastic and impulsive. I'll probably be explaining this post later but what can I say...I do me. I just know how to keep it to myself. There are certain things [not limited to this stuff] nobody will know about me.

Ever.


NOTE: I would like to take this time out to apologize to the Bestest and Bri. I probably just embarrassed you the most lol. I love yall tho, lol.

** [I didn't know about her until today & no it probably wouldn't have changed anything but I don't like people keeping stuff from me at least be honest. Right?]


_{You're still my benefit buddy though...}

Here's the Situation...

Okay so the dude I met at a certain 'overrated yet still fun...sometimes' club in DC called me tonight. I havent talked to him in a minute. & when I say minute I mean 'wow you still have this number?' kind of minute. He talked all the usual bull and hinted that he wanted to see me basically so I was bored & didnt have anything else to do so I figured why not. I was supposed to either be there or call him by 11:45. So while all this was going on I was texting 'X' [remember him? From what Lu calls higher education?] and I kinda would rather have been with him but I dont want him thinking I am free every weekend even if i am. Anyway the club dude didnt answer the phone when I called at 11 something.

Straight to voicemail. So I left a message. A decent one....& then I texted 'X' to come over. Long story short...that didnt happen either because when he got here I was STILL IN A LONG SLOW ASS LINE AT TACO BELL!! On top of that 'club guy' calls me while I am in the line to tell me basically that I stood him up and didnt call him which is more of the normal bullshit from him. I know he got my damned message. He is one of those I am never wrong types.

Now to the point of this.

Should I feel bad for having 3 options [2 of which think I only talk to them] and hanging/going out with other people when I really like 'X' and he is the only 1 I really wanna talk to?

Im confused. Typing this out helped in my confusion.

I mean. Come on.

Okay so people think I can be mean and I have a short temper at times and what have you. I will admit that I am irritated really easy and that shows but some of that is people mistaking my sarcasm for me being serious. It is what it is.

Anyway, today at work I had a decision to make. This is the situation. There's this shelf in front of the register in the store that has all the testers for the lotions and shea butter for about 8 different scents. So this couple walks in and they're looking and smelling stuff on the shelf. So I hear them start complaining about how they didn't like one of them because it didnt smell like anything. So I look and they're smelling the one labeled...get this... 'Unscented'.

So. At this point I could do one of two things. I could either make them feel like fucking idiots for being loud and dumb or just leave it alone and let them move on. Now if I was as mean as people think I am I would have said something and said it loud enough to embarrass them. I know I wanted to. But I decided against it.

I also didn't point out to another lady who thought it was hilarious that one of the lotions that she liked said 'sausage' on it when it actually said 'savage'.

I am becoming a better person little by little. Very little by very little.